More Haste Less Speed

(ALL GAS AND GASPERS)

By Alan West

In the little known world of the 'Ex' boats it was always a good scheme to try to keep a few tons of the good stuff in the bunkers for our own benefit at the end of a days running. The usual routine was to run on the plant until all the fuel was gone and then call it a day.

When we surfaced the skimmers would be dots on the horizon hightailing it to whatever fleshpot they had in their sights, and we would be left to plod back to Campbeltown on our one 'U' Class engine (six knots with following wind and tide) to try to get there before the Royal closed its doors at 2100 or 2130 in the summer. Get in before closing time and you were OK for a lock in but no chance if you missed the deadline.

On this particular occasion we had a few tons left and so we flashed up again on the surface (always a bit of a hit and miss event) and almost trebled our speed in a trice. Needless to say the diesel was kept on to save a bit on charging time alongside. All was well with our world and we were looking forward to a few jars during official licensing hours.

The main exhaust discharge from the plant was fairly large whacks of CO2 which was compressed and pushed out through tailpipes which ran under the casing way back aft. What we didn't know was that the tailpipes had developed some pretty large holes due to corrosion/erosion and quite a lot of the gas was discharging under the casing. From there it was no problem for the gas to amble forward up inside the fin and with the help of the diesel it went straight down the tower where the ventilation system promptly spread it through the boat - easy!

Meanwhile down below the newly arrived Jimmy was draped over the chart table wondering if these boats always made the crew drowsy and a bit short of puff and supposed he would get used to it in time.

In the motor room / turbine platform the starboard turbine plant operator, who had been hung over all day, reckoned that he was feeling progressively better and was looking forward to another nights refreshment.

The EA was tapping the glass of his CO/CO2 recorder (he referred to this as calibrating) wondering why the needle was doing its best to force its way out of the casing - "bloody things on the blink again".

The EO was crouched at the gas analysis panel by the turbine room door to see if we were burning up the good stuff efficiently and was also wondering why he was getting a bit short of puff:- 'ah well, get on with the analysis'.

The limit of alertness was fast disappearing and we were rapidly realising that all was not well. It was back to basics and a quick check on the little piece of kit that everyone knew about - the good old faithful Ringrose indicator it was at the top of the tube.

Take step! luckily it was a nice calm day and broad daylight so it was a case of shutting down the plant, stop generating, stop, open hatches and everyone up on the casing - the diesel room killick stoker swears someone passed him in the hatch!

I don't think anyone realised exactly how fast hearts can beat when they suddenly get a chance to operate on lungfuls of decent air - quite an experience.

Once the cause of the problem had been shut down the atmosphere rapidly returned to near normal and we were able to get underway again rotating just enough watch keepers below to keep the thing going along. The rest of the crew were on the casing draped in blankets etc. when we were overtaken by an 'A' boat on its way to Faslane. They just waved and went on their way - must have thought we'd been stopped for hands to bathe.

So there we were, back to six knots and we never did make it back to the Royal in time. Faslane had been informed of our little escapade, and the following day we were descended upon by Surgeon Commander and his team for interviews as to effects on all concerned and as far as I know neither at the time nor subsequently nobody suffered any adverse consequences either physically or otherwise.

Adamant knocked us up a couple of new tailpipes and we were back in business. When it was all over I'm sure that most people could be spotted giving a passing glance at the Ringrose on their way through the motor room (even alongside) - once bitten!

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